Sunday, June 16, 2013

I'm not a virgin any more, just someone who cries near Jesus on the cross

My 10-year old daughter drops a bomb at Sunday dinner:

"I'm not a virgin any more ..."

I turn to the wife: "That's your fault, you slut! Always flirting with other men, commenting on all the well-built men on telly, swearing like a trooper!"

I turn to my 17-year-old daughter: "And you, you're to blame as well! You shag any bloke with a dick, right in front of your little sister. Don't think I don't know about all the sex toys in the drawer of your bedside table!"

The wife turns to me: "Shut the fuck up! You spend half your wages on whores, groping them just before you come in the front door even if our wee daughter is watching. Since we got a DVD player, all you watch is porn! Even when our daughter's in the room! And I won't even mention the fucking PC and internet. Then there's your secretary who calls up and speaks to our daughter right after sucking your dick in the office ..."

The wife turns to our 10-year-old: "How could that happen, darling? Did someone seduce you, some boy at school?"

"No, Mum," she says. "The teacher just changed the cast in our Easter play. I'm not a virgin any more, just someone who cries near Jesus on the cross."

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